Her Diamonds
by lighthouse11
Summary: Secrets, magic, lies and a rather awkward love-pentagon. Backstory/history of Vivian, Ygraine, Uther and Gorlois.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, or any of the characters/places, etc.

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><p>"Milady?"<p>

The door opened softly, and the Lady Vivian turned around.

"A letter came for you, ma'am. No doubt you saw the messenger arrive. It's from Camelot, ma'am."

Vivian had been sitting at the window seat in her room. Her husband Gorlois would be home soon. There was little to do here, especially when her husband was out hunting and her baby daughter asleep. She had seen the messenger arrive, but had thought little of it. King Uther was often sending messages to her husband.

"I'll take it thank-you." She said to the serving girl holding out her hand. The girl walked across the room and handed Vivian the letter. Vivian waited for the girl to leave before tearing the letter open.

_My dear sister,  
>I have the most wonderful news to tell you. It is my pleasure to inform you that I am with-child. I am overcome with joy, as is the King. He will finally have an heir, and I am certain that the child will be a boy. Will it not be wonderful our children being born within a year of each other? I am sure your Morgana and my baby will make wonderful playmates. Vivian, my hand shakes as I write this I am so happy. I pray that you, Gorlois and your precious baby are well.<br>Your sister, Ygraine. _

Vivian re-read the letter and number of times. Ygraine couldn't be pregnant. This was all wrong. She had to go to Camelot at once.

"Anor!" Vivian called to her serving girl. The girl re-entered.

"Is everything alright, milady?"

"Pack my things. I'm leaving for Camelot first thing in the morning. I'll be taking Morgana."

"Is something wrong, ma'am?"

"Ygraine is pregnant. I need to be with my sister." Vivian said, trying to stay calm.

"But surely, you don't wish to be travelling with your baby, and so soon…"

"Do not tell me what I do or do not wish!" Vivian snapped. "My baby is ten weeks old and we are both well enough to travel. It will take less than a day to get to Camelot. I have no intention of returning to this old outpost either" she said. Shortly after Vivian had announced her pregnancy, Gorlois had been "transferred" to an outpost village on the outskirts of Camelot. True, it was an important post strategically, and the lodgings were comfortable, but they were nothing compared to Camelot, and not suitable for the sister of the Queen. Of course, this posting had nothing to do with Gorlois, he was in fact one of King Uther's best and most favoured men. This was all to do with Vivian's child, Uther's child, and the fact that he didn't want his illegitimate baby anywhere near court.

"Yes, ma'am, right ma'am, so pack for the baby too, ma'am?"

"Yes, of course. Did I not just make that clear?" Vivian turned and went back to the window. At last, she could see Gorlois returning. "Pack my things." She told Anor. "I will inform my husband of the situation."

"But you can't just turn up at court!" Gorlois exclaimed, half joking, half serious. The couple were now sharing supper in their house's miserable excuse of a dining room.

"Do you really think Uther would turn me away?" Vivian asked sarcastically.

"No, it's just…do you think it's wise to turn up uninvited?"

"Ygraine's letter is the closest thing to an invitation I'm going to get." Vivian told her husband. "My sister is pregnant, and I want to be with her. God knows I wish she was here with me whilst I was carrying Morgana."

Gorlois patted his wife's pale hand. "I guess you know what's best. I'll miss you though. But still," he said, smiling, "I say less than six months and I'll be posted back in Camelot anyway, so it won't be too long. Oh, but won't Uther be happy! Remember to pass on my congratulations." He grinned. Vivian smiled, but not for the same reason as her husband.

'I can't wait to see the look on his face when I turn up with Morgana.' She though. "I best be headed off to bed. I have an early start, and with Morgana bound to wake at least once during the night, I need all the sleep I can get." She said, standing up.

"Of course." Gorlois said, standing up too. "I'll see you in the morning." He said, and gave her a kiss on the check.

"Good-night" Vivian replied, and left the room, her supper only half-eaten.

Come morning, Vivian washed, dressed and breakfasted quickly. She wanted to get going as soon as possible, in order to arrive at Camelot not long after dark. All the necessities were strapped to the horse; the rest of Vivian and her daughter's belongings would follow in the days to come. She had said a brief farewell to her husband, then mounted her horse and set off, with Morgana nestled snuggly under one arm.

It was around two hours after dark by time Vivian arrived in Camelot. Morgana was restless and had been grizzling for the last hour, unable to sleep or get comfortable. And with an unhappy baby, Vivian's patience too was at the end of its rein, so to say she was relieved when the great castle walls of Camelot finally came into view was something of an understatement.

Vivian dismounted in the courtyard, a stableboy taking her horse and a serving boy taking the few belongs she had brought on with her into the castle. Her legs were wobbly from the long days ride and she was hungry and tired, but she was determined to maintain her dignity and carry herself and her baby inside.

"My Lady Vivian!" exclaimed Mary, a serving girl who had often tended to her when she had been living at Camelot. "What a surprise! Oh my!" she said, all a-fluster.

"I need a hot bath, a solid meal and a cradle for my baby placed next to my bed. I trust my old chambers are not currently in use?"

"Yes milady. No milady. Baby milady?" Mary rushed.

"Yes, my daughter Morgana. I trust you heard of her birth?" Vivian said, trying not to snap at the girl.

"Oh! Of course milady! I didn't see the little one there in under your cloak. Why, it's the dark and my eyesight must be going…"

"Yes, well…" Vivian said, walking as steadily as she could up the stairs into the front foyer of the castle. It appeared most of its inhabitants had already retired for the night, but Vivian wasn't worried about that now. "I would like an audience with my sister as soon as possible in the morning. Can that be arranged?"

"Yes, of course milady." Mary said, clearly bursting with one hundred questions, but could see that the Lady Vivian was in no mood to answer them. "And with the King also, I presume?" she asked tentatively.

"No, not particularly." Vivian muttered under her breath.

"Pardon, ma'am?"

"I will see the Queen first, thank-you." Vivian said, and marched as quickly as she could up to her chambers, her beautiful, dark-haired baby in her arms, and serving-girl at her heals.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a quiet knock at the door.

"Vivian?"

Ygraine slowly opened the door and looked around. She spotted her sister sitting at her dressing table.

"Oh my goodness! I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed and hurried across the room. Vivian stood up and the sisters embraced.

"I had to come, as soon as I read your letter…" Vivian said, looking carefully at her sister, who was indeed, pregnant.

"You slept well I trust?"

"Yes, we slept well, thank-you. The journey tired us both out."

"Us? Oh! You brought Morgana! Oh my!" Ygraine exclaimed, finally noticing the cradle with her niece nestled comfortable inside. "Oh Vivian, she's beautiful!"

Vivian smiled, she always did like it when people doted over her daughter. Morgana looked up at her aunt and gave a toothless grin.

"You must be so happy." Ygraine smiled. "You must show her to Uther. He's so happy that Gorlois is now a father."

Vivian's expression changed suddenly. "I'll see Uther when I have to." She said, rather sourly.

"Why, you're not still bitter about him sending Gorlois to the outpost are you? It is a very important place, and the King only sends his most trusted knights to guard it…" Ygraine said, trying to defuse her sister.

"That might be so, but it's no place for a Lady and her new-born child, particularly with winter approaching…besides, I came here for you, not for the King." Vivian said. "You must tell me all about this child of yours. Come, sit down." She said sitting down on her bed. Ygraine sat next to her, clearly trying her best to hide her enthusiasm for the subject.

"Oh sister, I was so happy when I discovered it to be true. Of course, I couldn't tell you straight away…just in case. But now…the baby is due shortly after winter, in just over four months' time. Won't it be wonderful! Born in the spring he will be, when everything is coming alive again! Oh Vivian, I have never been so happy in my life. The King will have an heir; we are certain it will be a boy. Oh, is everything not wonderful?" Ygraine grinned, and Vivian did her best to return the smile, though still strongly feeling that something was terribly wrong.

"Yes, everything is most wonderful…can you be sure it is a son?"

"Why of course! Why should it not be? The King needs a son, and I will deliver him." Ygraine said forcefully.

"I do not doubt it, but I would not get my hopes up too high. It could be a girl, you know…"

"Just because you've only had girls doesn't mean I will too!" Ygraine said, getting quite annoyed at her sister. But then she looked at Vivian, and could see that she'd crossed a line. "Oh, my dear, I am sorry…"

"Just don't mention it. There's nothing wrong with having girls."

"I-I know, just what if Morgana also…"

"I'm not losing Morgana too! She's not like _that _either." Vivian said crossly, standing up and looking in her daughter's cradle, at the small baby, happily sucking her thumb.

"But she's still young, Morgause was older when…"

"You don't talk about her!" Vivian yelled. No one mentioned her precious Morgause. Not even Ygraine.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" Ygraine said, trying not to cry. She hated it when Vivian got mad. "That was thoughtless of me…"

"Just don't mention her." Vivian said, with no emotion in her voice. "But that's not why I came. I came here for you." She said, softening. She sat back down on the bed. "It's not _natural_."

"It's a baby, Vivian! It's the most natural thing in the world!" Ygraine smiled, happy the conversation was back on her and her wonderful unborn child.

"Don't pretend you weren't surprised. Why else would have you waited so long to tell me?"

"I was surprised…yes. But surely you too were surprised when you fell pregnant?"

"Of course!" Vivian said, she was more surprised than Ygraine could know when she realised she was pregnant with Morgana, "Only I didn't wait before I was half-term before telling anyone! You knew as soon as I had my suspicions. Sister, please…"

"You worry too much." Ygraine smiled and took her sister's hands. "Everything will be fine, Vivian, just stop worrying about me."

"You know I can't do that."

"I know, but you can try. Why! You must dine with us tonight! I'll tell someone to set an extra place at the table this evening! Uther will be so pleased to see you." Ygraine smiled, thinking about her husband. "Dinner with my two favourite people!" she exclaimed.

"I – not tonight." Vivian said. She needed to talk to Uther, she knew that, but she didn't want her sister to be there the first time she saw him, just in case. "I'm still tired from my journey. Perhaps, tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow it will be and no excuses! I'm just so happy you're here." Ygraine said and flung her arms around Vivian. Vivian hugged her back.

"So am I," she said, "So am I."

That evening, Vivian sat alone in her room, Morgana asleep in her cradle next to her bed. She would have to see Uther in the morning; she knew that had to happen, no matter how much she did not look forward to the meeting. But Vivian was smart, and knew the truth of the situation. No one could know who Morgana's true father was, or it would destroy them all. Uther, as much as she may dislike him as a person, was a good King, and had brought relative peace and stability to Camelot since taking the throne. If it became common knowledge that he had slept with the wife of one of his most favoured knights, and thus fathering her child, then he would lose the trust and respect of all his people. Vivian herself would be thrown out of court and disgraced. Gorlois would be humiliated, as would Ygraine, on learning of the actions of her husband and her sister. And Morgana too would be removed from court, forever labelled the bastard child of the King, forever facing with the consequences of an action that she could never control. No, Vivian would face Uther in private, as this was now as much about Ygraine being with-child as it was about her own child Morgana.


	3. Chapter 3

"The King is ready, milady, and he will see you now."

Vivian looked over at the servant. She had had it arranged to see Uther that morning. Best to get it over with, so she could stop coming up with excuses to avoid dining with Ygraine and her husband, she had thought.

"Tell the King that I shall be there when _I'm_ ready. And I can escort myself, no need to for you take me." She told the servant.

"Yes, milday." He said, and left her.

Vivian didn't care that she was already dressed and prepared to go, and neither did the servant seem to notice. No way would she see Uther when _he_ was ready. This was to be entirely on her terms. And she had no problem with keeping the King of Camelot waiting for 10 minutes or so.

Eventually Vivian made her way down to the Uther's private apartment to see him. She walked confidently, wearing her favourite royal blue dress with her long, dark hair bouncing as she walked. Vivian knocked on Uther's door, and let herself in, closing the door behind her, before there was an answer.

"My Lady Vivian." Uther said, and came and kissed Vivian's hand.

"Uther." Vivian said, and allowed him to do as such.

"Do sit down." Uther said politely, offering Vivian a seat.

"I'd really prefer to stand, thank-you. I'm glad this is a private session." She said, looking around the room and noticing that they were, in fact, alone, as she had requested.

"Of course. You, ah, look well."

"Thank-you." Vivian replied. She'd just walked in, and already had enough of his niceties. It was time to get down to business. "I suppose congratulations are in order. You are to be a father. Again. Maybe you could come and see your first child. She is just down the hallway you know…"

Uther suddenly looked very pale. "I'm…very happy that Ygraine is with-child. I will have an heir."

"You already have an heir."

"A legitimate one."

"You could make Morgana legitimate. Maybe once I die. Or Gorlois. Or both of us. Save the embarrassment, you understand. Always good to have an heir and a spare. Besides, both you and Ygraine seem quite certain that it'll be a son." Vivian said. She knew this was cheeky, and that Uther could easily have her removed, but she has a feeling he wouldn't.

"It will be a son. He will be my heir. He will be all I need."

"_He_ shouldn't exist. Ygraine should _not_ be pregnant. And I have a feeling you know that. And you knew that the problem was her, and not you, because you already had a child…"

"Are you jealous of your own sister? Jealous that you're not Queen?" Uther asked. He was rather flustered, as he was not used to be challenged in this way by someone else, especially not about personal matter such as his wife.

"Perhaps you forget, Uther, that you asked _me_ to marry you after my first husband died, and I refused, knowing that we would forever be fighting with one another. So it was only then that you went and asked my sister."

"And you then replaced Henri with Gorlois."

Vivian felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Though a day never went by when she did not think of the child she had lost, somehow Henri had slowly gotten pushed to the back of her mind. He had died, she had lost Morgause, and two years later she married Gorlois. The fact that Henri and Gorlois were brothers did not faze her. Though hardly 18 months apart, the two brothers looked nothing alike, and besides, Henri had been her lover, and Gorlois was her best friend. It was just easier to forget. "I was in a completely different situation to you." Vivian said, trying hard not to lash out.

"And you thought you could replace Morgause with Morgana?"

It then took Uther a few seconds to realise what hit him. Uther stood there stunned, his cheek burning. "You slapped me!"

"I can NEVER replace her! It does NOT work like that!" Vivian yelled, her heart pounding. Her girls were the most precious things in her life; neither was interchangeable with the other.

"You shouldn't have had Morgana then."

"Oh, well maybe you shouldn't have taken advantage of me and fathered her!"

"I took advantage?" Uther asked, sarcastically. "I remember you being quite keen on the idea at the time."

"Yes, I consented, but I was so drunk that night, you never should have come to my chambers!"

"You should have more sense than to be in that state in the first place!"

"You are the King! Aren't you supposed to be the moral guider of the kingdom?" Vivian ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "Look, we were bored and lonely and both are responsible. Just see her, Uther, and then maybe you'll understand."

Uther looked around sheepishly. "We both mucked up. No one can know."

"Ha! You don't think I've already realised that?"

"Gorlois doesn't suspect?"

"No. I don't think so. Ygraine has no idea either. I don't suppose either of them would ever suspect…"

"No. Well…I suppose you'll be staying here until my son is born?" Uther asked.

Vivian looked at Uther and raised her eyebrows. "I just hope you haven't done anything you might regret." She said. The two were silent for a moment.

"I need to get ready for training." Uther said. "I guess I will see you at dinner tonight?"

The civilities had returned, and Vivian knew that it was time her to retire to her chambers. "Yes, I suppose you will. I guess you will come and see you daughter?"

"I - yes, when I've time."

"Hm, well, you know where we are." Vivian said, cheekily. "Good day then, Uther."

"Lady Vivian." Uther said, and gave a slight bow. Vivian did not curtsey. She just nodded and left the room. Morgana would wake from her morning nap soon, and Vivian felt a very strong urge to go and hold onto her precious baby girl and never let go.


	4. Chapter 4

The months that followed were relatively calm. Vivian spent most her time during the winter months with Ygraine, whose stomach seemed to grow larger by the day. Gorlois returned to Camelot from the outpost and joined Uther's inner-circle of knights. Morgana continued to grow into a beautiful, chubby little baby, who was doted on and adored by everyone who set eyes on her, even her biological father, Uther.

Vivian did have one very bittersweet day however, when Morgana reached just over five months of age. Vivian knew that from that time forward, every day she spent with Morgana was one that she would never get with Morgause. Everything Morgana learnt to do or say, how much she grew and developed was something that Vivian never saw her first daughter do. But she was so thankful that she had Morgana and could watch her grow, as somehow the gods had blessed her and given her the opportunity to be a mother again.

But even the few short months that Vivian had spent with Morgause would seem like a lifetime compared with the time which was all that was allowed for Ygraine to be with her son.

Ygraine was due to give birth any day now, and had been feeling unwell for the past few days. Ygraine was so excited about her baby, the future King of Camelot, a little playmate for Morgana, what could be more perfect? Only Vivian was scared. Everything still felt wrong about the baby.

"Vivian?" the door to her chamber opened and Gorlois entered.

"Are you finished training already? It isn't even time for lunch yet."

"Vivian. We – there was no training this morning. It was cancelled."

Vivian could tell by her husband's voice that something was seriously wrong. Training was never cancelled. The knights trained at the same time, same place, every day, no exceptions. "What happened?" she asked, not sure she wanted the answer.

"I am _so_ sorry." Gorlois said, his eyes filling with tears. "They thought I'd be the best one to tell you…"

Vivian felt her heart sink. She felt like she was going to be sick. "Say it."

Gorlois took Vivian's hands into his own. "Ygraine went into labour in the early hours of the morning. The baby was born just after sunrise. She died with her son in her arms…Vivian…"

Vivian violently pulled away from her husband, grabbing onto the bed post for support. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but struggled to find the correct thing to say. Her eyes filled with tears, and Vivian did her best to keep them at bay. Gorlois just stood there in the middle of the room. "It's almost midday…" she said.

"I'm so sorry. Vivian…"

"IT'S ALMOST MIDDAY! She's been dead for nearly six hours and I'm only being told NOW? Why I was not told earlier? Why was I not called for as soon as she went into labour? I was supposed to be there, Gorlois! Why wasn't I there? Why am I only being told about all this now?" Vivian yelled, tears streaming down her face.

"The King thought…"

"To HELL with the King! Where is he? I'm going to kill him!"

"Vivian, please!" Gorlois cried as Vivian tried to push past him to the door. He grabbed her arm, and she tried to fight him off, but Gorlois eventually was able to pull him wife in close, and he held her tight, as she sobbed into his chest. He picked her up, and carried her over to the bed. Gorlois sat her down, and sat down himself next to her, still holding her tight. He stroked her hair as she cried.

"I didn't know that you didn't know. I thought you'd been told this morning. That was dumb; I should have come here as soon as I knew. You're her sister, and you're right. You should have been there last night. You should not be the last one to know. Vivian, I am so sorry…" The two just sat on the bed, neither saying anything. Gorlois just let Vivian cry.

Gorlois understood exactly what she was going through. Five years ago his brother had died, but somehow, this felt so much worse. Gorlois had been there when Henri had died, as had Vivian. Henri had been wounded in battle and brought back to Camelot, but his wounds were unhealable. Thanks to a number of potions from Gaius, Henri had been able to spend his last hours in peace, with his loved ones close by and everyone was able to say goodbye. This had not been the case with Ygraine. Everything had been so sudden and hectic and painful and no one saw the tragedy coming.


	5. Chapter 5

"The Lady Vivian, sire." The servant said, opening the door to the dining room, letting Vivian in. Uther sat alone in the room on his throne at the head of the table, Ygraine's chair empty beside him. The servant closed the door behind her.

Uther looked as though he hadn't slept, and Vivian assumed that was the case. Somehow last night she had ended up falling asleep herself, allowing her mind and body to have a rest from the tragedy of the death of her sister. She had been heartbroken when she had fallen asleep, now she was angry, and it was the man sitting alone at the table who was to blame.

"You didn't call for me." She said, angrily.

Uther understood what she meant. "Vivian, I really don't…"

"YOU DIDN'T CALL FOR ME!" she yelled. "What's wrong with you! I KNOW you called for my brothers! They arrived last night! They knew what was happening before me! You had word sent to them as soon as Ygraine went into labour but you never called for me! I was under the same roof! You specifically gave the order to keep me in the dark and that I would find out 'in due course'!"

Uther just starred at the table. What Vivian said was true. He couldn't have her there at the birth of his son. She'd always been so against Ygraine's pregnancy, as though she'd known something was wrong. Stuff her, he'd thought, she can find out about the birth in the morning.  
>"I didn't think it would end this way…" he said, trying not to cry in front of Vivian. "Vivian, I just lost my wife, you can't understand…"<p>

"_I_ don't understand? I think _I_, of all people, understand this Uther Pendragon! She was _my _sister, Uther! _I_ lost my first husband _and_ child. I think I have some idea of what this feels like!"

"It's different this time." Uther mumbled. "I didn't know I'd be trading Ygraine for Arthur…"

"Really? After you used magic to conceive? Do you think I don't know what you'd done? I knew the pregnancy was wrong. Did I not tell you that? I know that Nimueh's left court. Whatever she did, it was your fault."

"She lied to me. She never said I'd lose Ygraine. She lied, Vivian!"

"No, Uther, you were just too stupid to ask, or to realise that you can't use magic to have a child. There are always consequences to using magic in a situation like that!"

"Are you defending the use of magic?" Uther asked, suddenly feeling very angry. "Magic is outlawed. Anyone who practices it or condones its use will be sentenced to death."

Vivian was taken aback. "So the rumours are true then?" she asked, surprised. There had been word around the castle that morning that the King had outlawed magic, but Vivian didn't know whether to believe it or not. "Is Ygraine's death not enough? You will kill hundreds of innocent people, Uther. You will destroy more lives than just that of my sister! Is that what you want?"

"You will not challenge me!" Uther yelled, standing up. "I am the King! I make the rules and that's final!"

"You will pay for this one hundred times over!" Vivian yelled, tears running down her cheeks. "It will never be enough! You do not deserve to have people bow before you and call you King. You do not deserve those who are loyal to you. You do not deserve me, or Ygraine or Morgana or least of all Arthur!"

"You will show me some respect!" Uther yelled back at her, slamming his fist on the table, but Vivian had had enough.

"You Uther, you will go to hell!" she screamed, and then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Uther was left behind in the hall, all alone, feeling that every word Vivian had said was true.


	6. Chapter 6

A dream:

A little girl is torn crying from the arms of her mother. The mother screams that this had nothing to do with the child, she cannot help it, that she was born like this. He will destroy so much more than just the girl. So much innocence. The child will be sentenced to death. No one can stop this.

XXX

Vivian lay in bed, starring at the ceiling. It was never just a dream and it had come back now for a reason. It had been five years since she'd last had it, and it was back now, three nights after the death of Ygraine. Uther had declared that magic was outlawed, and anyone caught practicing it, or to be known to be in the practice of sorcery of any kind was to be sentenced to death.

What petrified Vivian about the dream was that _she_ was the mother. And the little girl was the six-year-old Morgause. Uther did not care that this child was his niece by marriage, the daughter of his sister-in-law Lady Vivian and her husband Sir Henri, and that she was to be a Lady of Camelot. Morgause had magic, and for that she would be killed for Uther's own foolish crimes.

Vivian was a Seer, and very few people knew this. Usually her powers accounted to nothing more than being able to accurately predict the day's weather, but that had changed once she gave birth to Morgause. Henri had suspected Vivian was a Seer, but never said anything. She wasn't sure about Gorlois and Ygraine didn't know, it wasn't worth Vivian telling her. Their mother had known, of course, and the only other person who knew was the court physician, Gaius. Vivian could take it no longer. She didn't care if Gaius was asleep; she needed to talk to him right now.

XXX

"Gaius?" Vivian asked, as she slowly opened the door. Even though it was the middle of the night, she could see light coming from the gap between the floor and the door.

"Lady Vivian! Come in! What are you doing up?" Gaius said, ushering Vivian in. "Please, sit yourself down."

Vivian sat down at the long wooden table in Gaius's chamber. "I – this is it, Gaius. I had the dream again. It would happen now." She said, knowing that Gaius would understand.

"About Morgause?" Gaius asked quietly, sitting down opposite her.

"The same one. It can't still come true, can it?"

"No, I don't think so." Gaius said. "Morgause is safe."

"Is she? Really? Because Uther is hell bent on stamping out all magic wherever it is. Promise me Gaius, that he won't ever find her." Vivian said, trying not to work herself into a panic.

"Vivian, I gave her to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion. Uther cannot find them, and so long as she's there, she is safe. Vivian, you must trust me. No harm will come to Morgause."

"He's already started rounding people up. He's going to destroy so much…"

Gaius reached across the table and took Vivian's hand. "I'm afraid nothing can be done to stop him. You must take solace, Vivian, in the knowledge that Morgause is safe."

Vivian had no choice by to trust Gaius. He had not betrayed her trust before and he had always kept her secrets safe. "I should be heading back to bed." Vivian said, standing up.

"Would you like something to help you sleep?" Gaius asked.

"I'll be fine." Vivian said, and tried to smile. "Sorry if I kept you from anything."

"No problem at all, my Lady. You know you're welcome here at any time of day, or night." Gaius smiled.

"Thank-you Gaius, for everything."

"Sleep well, Lady Vivian."

Vivian nodded and headed back to her chambers, her mind full of could-have-beens and never-will-bees. Hopefully sleep would be her release.


	7. Chapter 7

Four years later.

XXX

Uther sat alone in his chambers. He had received word that morning that in the small hours of the night, the Lady Vivian had passed away. She had been quite unwell for some months now, and that her passing was, in a way, a relief to her family. It had seemed as though her body had just given up on her.

Uther had not seen Vivian in four years, since she, her husband Sir Gorlois and then-baby daughter Morgana had left Camelot shortly after the birth of Uther's son, and, consequently, the death of his wife, who was also Vivian's sister Ygraine. Vivian, Gorlois and Morgana had moved to the house of Gorlois's father, where Vivian had remained ever since, though Gorlois made regular trips to Camelot, as he was one of Uther's most senior knights.

Vivian claimed that since Ygraine died, there was nothing left for her in Camelot, and maybe that was true, Uther thought. ….?

"Sire?" a servant knocked on Uther's door.

"What is it?" Uther asked, not wanting to be interrupted.

"A letter sire." The servant said, placing the letter on the table.

"Very good. You may leave if that's all." Uther said, and the servant left him alone once more. Uther picked up the letter. He recognised the handwriting on the front. It was not that of Gorlois, but that of Vivian. Her writing had always been so neat and pretty, yet this was wobbly and weak, but Uther could tell it her from her hand none the less. He tore it open and read:

_If you're reading this, then I must no longer be here, which means that my husband is now a widower and my daughter will grow up without a mother. And if I am no longer here, I can tell you what I think without worry of consequence for myself. I also suspect that this will be a rather lengthy letter, but, I have had a rather long time to think about things, and if I don't get it all down now, I suspect I never will._

_There's a little girl fast asleep in the nest room not knowing that her mummy probably won't be here when she wakes up. Morgana is the most beautiful little child, with soft black curls and big green eyes. Being at that age, she also asks around one thousand questions every day and does not give up until she receives an answer she is satisfied with. A most persistent child if ever there was one! It breaks my heart that I will not get to see my baby grow up, but that I have had at least the first four and a half years of her life gives me some comfort. I cannot go a day without wondering what Morgause would have been like at this age, and what she would be like now. She would be almost ten years old, Uther! _

_But, back to Morgana. Yes, you are her father, but she will __never__ be yours. It is Gorlois she calls "Daddy". It is a kiss goodnight from Gorlois that she needs each night before she will go to sleep. It is with Gorlois she rides when we go out, Gorlois who carries her upstairs when she is too tired (or too spoilt). Gorlois is everything she needs, and whether they know the truth or not is irrelevant for now. Though I fear the day will come when Morgana will find out that it is in fact you who are her true father, but this needs to be done with the upmost tact and carefulness, or I fear what her reaction to such news could be. _

_I cannot regret that night, Uther, and would not, had Morgana come from it or not. You made me feel such a way that I had not felt since Henri had died. And however wrong it was (and it was terribly wrong indeed, on both our behalves), you must admit you felt it too. Maybe in another world, you had more tact, and asked me to marry you a few more than two weeks after I'd lost my baby girl, losing her father only weeks before that, and maybe, I would have accepted. But that is not what happened in this life. That night happened instead, and Morgana with it. Morgana __is__ a rightful heir to the throne of Camelot, and you know it cannot be denied._

_But, Uther, I can NEVER forgive you for what you have done in the past four years. I know that magic was used for you to have Arthur, and as a result my sister, your wife, paid the ultimate price for your greed. But it is not only that. In the past four years, you have rounded up so many people and had them killed. How many, Uther? Hundreds? Thousands? Just because they have magic and magic betrayed you, or so you think. How many were innocent? How many other husbands have lost their wives as a result of your actions? Or wives their husbands? Or people losing their children, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and loved ones? None of the killing or the suffering can bring Ygraine back, yet you persist. It is all on your hands, and one day, mark my words, Uther Pendragon, you will pay for it._

_I can only hope that for the sake of Camelot that my little nephew Arthur grows up to be a better King than you can ever be. _

Uther turned the paper over, but there was nothing more. Towards the end of the letter, Vivian's handwriting had been getting messier and less legible. Who did she think she was, writing him a letter like this? How dare she challenge him and tell him what he should or shouldn't do? He was the King of Camelot and she was just…dead. That was when it really hit him. Vivian was dead, just like his precious Ygraine. But he could imagine the way Vivian had gone. She would have been able to put Morgana to bed, and say goodnight. Gorlois would have been with her to the end. It would have been peaceful and quiet. And she had time to write one last letter. Vivian had had time, which was so different to Ygraine's death. Uther felt his eyes fill with tears. Damn it, Vivian! Why did she have to die on him? Uther wiped his eyes. He would not cry for her. He would not let her touch him like that, except he knew deep in his heart that it was too late.


End file.
